Reflection 

So I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been going through some challenges and needed to take a break from my blog for a minute. But I’m back now! 

This post is called reflection because these last weeks I have been reflecting and trying to adapt to changes that have happened in my life. So many things have changed and it took me a while to realise lol. 

My friend actually said to me last night that I’ve changed abit, I’ve become more reserved she said and it’s true that’s how I’ve become with a lot of things now. 

People leave your life & friendships can change so it’s really important to make sure that you are able to be there for yourself & have your own back because at the end of the day you’re born alone and will eventually die alone. ( I know it sounds morbid and slightly depressive but it’s the honest truth) 

I’m not saying don’t confide in people but make sure you’re good on your own as well because you never know what will happen. I’m still working on this and if this means I’m becoming more reserved, I guess that’s who I’m growing into. 

I’m definitely happier than I was a few weeks ago but as always there’s room for progress. 

Work is going really well, I really enjoy my new job – it’s literally the dream practice I’ve always hoped for. 

I’m getting into the spirit of Christmas, it’s my favourite time of year. I love seeing all the Christmas lights on Oxford Street and Marylebone High Street, it’s all so pretty! 


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Chocolate Bliss at Olympia 

So yesterday I attended the annual Chocolate Show at Olympia in Kensington where I got to see chocolate in all its glory! With many different types of chocolate, there was definitely something for every body. From truffles to Belgium hot chocolate, chocolate wine and even delightful macaroons it is definitely a day out every body would enjoy. 
Featured in the show were famous chocolatiers such as Paul A Young to start up companies like Winchester Fine Chocolates created by Zara Snell  who was a winner of the International Chocolate Awards 2017. There were many different stools with chocolate from all over the world all supplying their best products for the eager chocolate fanatics! 

Paul A Young was there to give talks and demonstrations which were packed with overzealous listeners about chocolate from one of the best chocolatiers around. Mr Young was also there promoting his book ‘Sensational Chocolate’ with the help from The Children’s Air Ambulance charity in which Paul A Young is an ambassador. 

The Children’s Air Ambulance charity promoting Paul A Young’s book ‘Sensational Chocolate’

The chocolatier Aneesh Popat had the best chocolate spread I had ever tasted and it didn’t contain any mild products but it was so creamy and had the correct richness for a chocolate spread. (Yes 1000% better then Nutella)


The Chocalatier Aneesh Popat 

My personal favourite was Winchester Fine Chocolates by Zara Snell. Her truffles were amazing especially her handmade Champagne truffles, they are definitely a treat. Not only does the chocolate taste incredible but the hard work and dedication put into the products are very noticeable. Winchester Fine Chocolates which was created in 2016 are definitely a company to watch out for. Treat yourself and get some goodies at http://www.winchesterfinechocolates.co.uk 


Winchester Fine Chocolates 

As a chocolate lover I will definitely be back next year to see what The Chocolate Show has to offer! 

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Check yourself & your Mental Health 

I was going to publish this blog at a later date but in light of ‘Mental Health Awareness’ day yesterday I thought this was a more opptune time. 

‘According to the Mental Heath Foundation, every year in the UK 70 million workdays are lost due to mental illness, including anxiety, depression and stress related conditions. This means mental illness is the leading cause of sickness and absence from work’ – Counselling Directory 

Mental illness has different shapes and forms. Some people don’t even realise they suffer from a form of mental illness until they come out the other side. Some people are really good and well practiced at hiding the pain and sadness they feel inside that nobody would know they are suffering. 

1 in 4 people will experience at least one diagnosable mental health problem. It can happen to anyone, it doesn’t matter where you live or what you do or how much money you may earn every one is potentially susceptible to a form of mental illnesss. 

‘Anxiety is considered one of the most common mental health problems. In 2013 there were 8.2million cases recorded in the U.K alone’

I personally have suffered from anxiety which effected me so much my doctor recommended medication. It was a hard time for me and my family as they saw the sadness and fear I was dealing with. During the worst time of my anxiety I literally felt as if I was in a black hole filled with fear and panic with no way out. Some days I wasn’t able to go to work & some days I would have panic attacks whilst out with friends. It was a very frustrating time for me, I just wanted to feel like my old self. I just wanted to be normal. 

One day it got so bad, I couldn’t go to work and I had just had enough with trying to battle these feelings. I wanted it all to end. 

This is when I decided I needed professional help and went to my GP. I discussed how I was feeling with my doctor and he asked various questions about my home life and life in general. But I had no answer to give him as to why I was feeling this way or what caused it. Looking back now I would say it was a mixture of work stress, a really hard break up that had happened months before & unresolved issues from my younger days.  All these feelings and stresses I had pushed to the back of my mind just erupted. 

I was fortunate to have a doctor that was patient and empathetic who listened to all my concerns and worries. He sent a referral to Mind Matters and prescribed me medication to use when I was having an anxiety attack. The medication worked and made me feel much better. It helped me get back to my normal self. My experience with Mind Matters was really positive, they were efficient and understanding and reassured me that if I relapsed into my bad anxiety faze they were always there to talk to. 

Today I am off the medication and anxiety free. I know my triggers and how to calm my nerves without the use of medication but I know it’s always there if I really need it. 

Depression can be caused by various different reasons for many people. It can cause people to feel so down they don’t know what the purpose of living is any more which in some cases can lead to suicide. 

‘Suicide is the leading cause of death among young people aged 20-34 years in the U.K. and it is considerably higher in men, with around three times as many men dying as a result of suicide compared to women’ – Mental Health Foundation

The Mental Health Foundation say that men are more likely to commit suicide because they are less likely to talk about depressive feelings or suicidal thoughts compared to women. I really believe that young boys and teenage boys should be encouraged discuss their feelings rather than being told to be a ‘big boy’ or ‘man up’. 

Expressing feelings of sadness or worry are nothing to be ashamed about and there should be more open talks about how you feel in schools and colleges. Children and young adults to should be encouraged to talk to their parents/guardians, teachers or even use helplines if they need some one to talk to. Especially in this age of social media where the use of online bullying is increasing. 

I encourage every one to openly talk about how they feel, listen to others and be empathetic because you never know when some  one can be truly in need of some one to talk to. 

Don’t forget to take time out of the hustle and bustle of every day life and check yourself and your Mental Health! 

hypnotherapists.org.uk

If you are suffering from a mental health problem and would like to discuss it please contact your GP or click the links below;  

http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk

https://mind.org.uk/

http://www.mindmatters.uk.com/

https://www.samaritans.org/
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Sunday Feels 

9:49 Sunday morn’ and I’m still sleepy (I’ve been awake since 6:30 not by choice). I feel like the last few days have been mentally productive which is basically where I mentally plan and think about what I want to achieve in the near future with my blog and other possible creative outlets (podcast pending?) 

Changing my eating habits has led me to try and have more clarity in life when it comes to relationships and life in general. I have recently been trying to focus on meaningful things in life which I guess could be hard especially for the younger generation when the media only focuses on the superficial, fake lives of instagram ‘celebs’ and fake news (fake news = news stories which have been modified by people who like to control the thoughts and feelings of the public, not presenting the real facts or both sides of a story. So basically propaganda).

This week I would like to focus on maintaining positive vibrations which is just me creating positive mental images in my mind and having a clear positive thought process. This is important because your feelings map out how events happen in your life. Vibrations are released by you into the universe and the universe responds by giving you what you feel and think whether that is positive or negative. I read ‘Raise Your Vibration’ by Kyle Gray and it really helps keep me focused on the positive. 

No matter what you believe I think that a spiritual connection is really important to keep a level head, have peace and be greatful for what life gives you. It’s not something you can master in 1 day or even 1 year but it’s a journey that always has you learning and changing for the better. 

Here are some links that keep me positive and level headed even when life gets tough; 

Tony Robbins – How to live in a beautiful state and feel joy  / https://youtu.be/Q93i3GIaqCY  (check out other Tony Robbins videos for more motivation) 

The Secret / https://youtu.be/Bb4SB2rCbGs 

Can I buy motivation on Amazon?

So I’m still recovering from jet lag which has kind of hindered my plans to start eating healthy and working out right after my holiday. 

Unlike normal people before my holiday to Jamaica I did not work out and eat right in preparation of being in a bikini. I lacked motivation. Like many people in order to be really determine and motivated to go to the gym or go for a run and prepare healthy eating plans you have to be in the right place mentally otherwise it just won’t work. 

I feel like before my trip I was stressed for many different reasons and lacked motivation to change my lifestyle and even in my career, I felt like I was stuck. Since returning to London I have come back with a clear mind (jet lag fogginess will not stop me) and I am ready for change. Change in my career, a new creative outlet and a new way of living in the sense of diet and exercise. 

I quiet like walking and running I find it therapeutic but the gym is not my friend. I get disheartened and distracted. Last year I had a personal trainer who I shared with my friend and I found it really helpful and was happy with the results. 

So why did I stop?  I guess I got comfortable with the results I had achieved and instead of maintaining or progressing I became complacent. Complacently leads to falling back into old habits for me they are eating junk and just not being active. As well as having a negative effect on your body physically it can have a detrimental affect on your mental health. 

In April I had a rough time dealing with anxiety and it got so bad I was having panic attacks in public and had to seek medical advice – I believe this was due to a lot of things going wrong in the last 8 months leading up to April. Thankfully I have over come that with slight hiccups now and then. My point is that the balance of a healthy diet and exercise is really good for mind body and soul – mind and soul should never be ignored as it is connected to the physical and when one is out of sync nothing can run smoothly. 

In this fast paced world fuelled by the internet, social media and the never ending pressures of society we must take time to look after our whole selves . 

So now I feel calm and at peace it is a good time for me to get back to a balanced lifestyle and just be over all a happier person. 

I will take time to document my journey with the good and the bad, hopefully I can motivate people to make the changes they want in their lives. Positive vibrations to all X 


Ocho Rios, Jamaica 2017 

Currently listening to the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill -/ favourite song To Zion ft Carlos Santana 

Authentic Life. Real Chat.

It’s 2.36am in London and I am suffering from jet lag. This is all new to me. My sleep pattern is a mess and clearly I have no intention on trying to sleep.

I can hear the rain outside and I’m in a sleepy daze contemplating what to write. This isn’t my first blogging experience, I used to have the generic fashion and beauty blog years ago (since then deleted). I considered creating a new fashion blog this time round but the world is definitely not short of fashion and beauty blogs. I wanted to create something real and meaningful with honesty and depth. Whether people will get that from my posts who knows only time will tell but I will try and create authentic posts about real life, real issues and relatable topics.

It’s now 2.41 and I’m considering how I will get through work tomorrow, probably won’t. I will be a miserable bitch with a lower tolerance than usual.

Jet lag is a SOB

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