Reflection 

So I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been going through some challenges and needed to take a break from my blog for a minute. But I’m back now! 

This post is called reflection because these last weeks I have been reflecting and trying to adapt to changes that have happened in my life. So many things have changed and it took me a while to realise lol. 

My friend actually said to me last night that I’ve changed abit, I’ve become more reserved she said and it’s true that’s how I’ve become with a lot of things now. 

People leave your life & friendships can change so it’s really important to make sure that you are able to be there for yourself & have your own back because at the end of the day you’re born alone and will eventually die alone. ( I know it sounds morbid and slightly depressive but it’s the honest truth) 

I’m not saying don’t confide in people but make sure you’re good on your own as well because you never know what will happen. I’m still working on this and if this means I’m becoming more reserved, I guess that’s who I’m growing into. 

I’m definitely happier than I was a few weeks ago but as always there’s room for progress. 

Work is going really well, I really enjoy my new job – it’s literally the dream practice I’ve always hoped for. 

I’m getting into the spirit of Christmas, it’s my favourite time of year. I love seeing all the Christmas lights on Oxford Street and Marylebone High Street, it’s all so pretty! 


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Check yourself & your Mental Health 

I was going to publish this blog at a later date but in light of ‘Mental Health Awareness’ day yesterday I thought this was a more opptune time. 

‘According to the Mental Heath Foundation, every year in the UK 70 million workdays are lost due to mental illness, including anxiety, depression and stress related conditions. This means mental illness is the leading cause of sickness and absence from work’ – Counselling Directory 

Mental illness has different shapes and forms. Some people don’t even realise they suffer from a form of mental illness until they come out the other side. Some people are really good and well practiced at hiding the pain and sadness they feel inside that nobody would know they are suffering. 

1 in 4 people will experience at least one diagnosable mental health problem. It can happen to anyone, it doesn’t matter where you live or what you do or how much money you may earn every one is potentially susceptible to a form of mental illnesss. 

‘Anxiety is considered one of the most common mental health problems. In 2013 there were 8.2million cases recorded in the U.K alone’

I personally have suffered from anxiety which effected me so much my doctor recommended medication. It was a hard time for me and my family as they saw the sadness and fear I was dealing with. During the worst time of my anxiety I literally felt as if I was in a black hole filled with fear and panic with no way out. Some days I wasn’t able to go to work & some days I would have panic attacks whilst out with friends. It was a very frustrating time for me, I just wanted to feel like my old self. I just wanted to be normal. 

One day it got so bad, I couldn’t go to work and I had just had enough with trying to battle these feelings. I wanted it all to end. 

This is when I decided I needed professional help and went to my GP. I discussed how I was feeling with my doctor and he asked various questions about my home life and life in general. But I had no answer to give him as to why I was feeling this way or what caused it. Looking back now I would say it was a mixture of work stress, a really hard break up that had happened months before & unresolved issues from my younger days.  All these feelings and stresses I had pushed to the back of my mind just erupted. 

I was fortunate to have a doctor that was patient and empathetic who listened to all my concerns and worries. He sent a referral to Mind Matters and prescribed me medication to use when I was having an anxiety attack. The medication worked and made me feel much better. It helped me get back to my normal self. My experience with Mind Matters was really positive, they were efficient and understanding and reassured me that if I relapsed into my bad anxiety faze they were always there to talk to. 

Today I am off the medication and anxiety free. I know my triggers and how to calm my nerves without the use of medication but I know it’s always there if I really need it. 

Depression can be caused by various different reasons for many people. It can cause people to feel so down they don’t know what the purpose of living is any more which in some cases can lead to suicide. 

‘Suicide is the leading cause of death among young people aged 20-34 years in the U.K. and it is considerably higher in men, with around three times as many men dying as a result of suicide compared to women’ – Mental Health Foundation

The Mental Health Foundation say that men are more likely to commit suicide because they are less likely to talk about depressive feelings or suicidal thoughts compared to women. I really believe that young boys and teenage boys should be encouraged discuss their feelings rather than being told to be a ‘big boy’ or ‘man up’. 

Expressing feelings of sadness or worry are nothing to be ashamed about and there should be more open talks about how you feel in schools and colleges. Children and young adults to should be encouraged to talk to their parents/guardians, teachers or even use helplines if they need some one to talk to. Especially in this age of social media where the use of online bullying is increasing. 

I encourage every one to openly talk about how they feel, listen to others and be empathetic because you never know when some  one can be truly in need of some one to talk to. 

Don’t forget to take time out of the hustle and bustle of every day life and check yourself and your Mental Health! 

hypnotherapists.org.uk

If you are suffering from a mental health problem and would like to discuss it please contact your GP or click the links below;  

http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk

https://mind.org.uk/

http://www.mindmatters.uk.com/

https://www.samaritans.org/
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Gym Struggles 

5 days into my cleanse and I’m still alive and standing. To be fair eating has not been an issue for me, in fact it has pushed me to try new foods and become more proactive when making myself meals. 

Before this I was not really into fish that much but because I’m not allowed to eat meat I’ve had no choice. I’ve tried two new types of fish in the past five days; salmon and mackerel! I know, I know these are every day types of fish for people but I just have never had them. I like both and even after the cleanse hope to keep them in my diet. 

I would say the only thing I have struggled with is not having cheese and butter on my Jacket potato, it’s suggested to use natural yoghurt instead of butter or mayo. I really really cannot even bring myself to try that. I just can’t. In fact I actually won’t (lol). So yes I have been having cheese and butter on my potato, I could of just had butter but if you’re being naughty go all out aye! 

So I’ve got the healthy eating down but what about working out? 

I am struggling so much to even muster up motivation to work out. I simply cannot be bothered. I don’t even want to step foot in the gym! It doesn’t help that my gym cancelled my box fit class that I was going to force myself to go to, is it a sign me and the gym are not meant to be?! 

Probably not because if I want any kind of results I will have to work out. I’m hoping some sort of motivation will come to me and I will work out at least twice by Sunday. My aim right now is to try and work out three times a week. 

So if you have any tips for being motivated to work out send them my way! 

It was just not meant to be! Class Cancelled …

To cleanse or not to cleanse? 

Ok. It’s day 1 of my 7 day cleanse and I feel motivated, determined and intrigued to see what changes I notice in myself.

 When I googled detox I had in my mind purely fruit, vegetables and juices. Luckily for me I found a website that promotes healthy weight loss which provides a list of food groups not limited to just fruit and veg juices which would make any one go insane past day 3 (day 1 for me). 

http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/diet/detox/plan.htm 

On the website it has a food list of what you can and can’t have for rage next 7 days, plus meal and snack suggestions which is good if you are like me who doesn’t cook and wouldn’t be able to concoct a meal out of the approved foods. I’m only doing this detox because I feel like I need a boost in my weight loss journey and I’m hoping it will teach me self discipline when it comes to eating (I currently have no self control). I think this detox plan is good because you’re doing a healthy detox whilst getting all the nutrients your body needs.

Now if you are a meat lover or a fish hater then this detox may be hard for you because you are not allowed any meat but you can have fish as long as its fresh or canned in water (no brine, no oils). I love chicken and other meats but I will try and go a week with out which I don’t think I’ve done before. Plus I’ve read that many meat products including organic meat contains chemicals and antibiotics which can’t be good for any one (I need to do more research on this).

 I guess if you’re a vegetarian then this could possibly be your usual diet? I’m also allowed Quorn and tofu but I think I will avoid these because I don’t like meat substitutes and I avoid soya products due to the hormonal effects it has. 

It says you can’t have coffee but I currently need it due to my messed up sleeping pattern thanks to jet lag so I will have it occasionally and I never have more than 1 cup a day. I’m not allowed dairy apart from natural yoghurt which is fine for me because I don’t really like milk or butter (I love cheese though!). I make my coffee with almond milk and I’ve replaced white sugar with either honey or fruit syrup. 

Last night I joined the gym again (lol) and booked a box fit class for Tuesday evening, I hope I make it! I have a tendency to book classes and not show up but I’m going to push myself. My goal is to try and go to the gym 3 x a week which is pretty reasonable to start of with! I also plan to walk more where possible and weather permitting 🙂 

I hope this detox is the start of my road to success when it comes to my weight loss. At the end of the week I will let you know if I have lost any weight (no I’m not going to blog my current weight lol).
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A few items I bought for the detox


Side note; obviously if you have a medical condition or are taking medication check if you can do this detox with a professional!

Currently listening to Damien Marley – In 2 deep 

Can I buy motivation on Amazon?

So I’m still recovering from jet lag which has kind of hindered my plans to start eating healthy and working out right after my holiday. 

Unlike normal people before my holiday to Jamaica I did not work out and eat right in preparation of being in a bikini. I lacked motivation. Like many people in order to be really determine and motivated to go to the gym or go for a run and prepare healthy eating plans you have to be in the right place mentally otherwise it just won’t work. 

I feel like before my trip I was stressed for many different reasons and lacked motivation to change my lifestyle and even in my career, I felt like I was stuck. Since returning to London I have come back with a clear mind (jet lag fogginess will not stop me) and I am ready for change. Change in my career, a new creative outlet and a new way of living in the sense of diet and exercise. 

I quiet like walking and running I find it therapeutic but the gym is not my friend. I get disheartened and distracted. Last year I had a personal trainer who I shared with my friend and I found it really helpful and was happy with the results. 

So why did I stop?  I guess I got comfortable with the results I had achieved and instead of maintaining or progressing I became complacent. Complacently leads to falling back into old habits for me they are eating junk and just not being active. As well as having a negative effect on your body physically it can have a detrimental affect on your mental health. 

In April I had a rough time dealing with anxiety and it got so bad I was having panic attacks in public and had to seek medical advice – I believe this was due to a lot of things going wrong in the last 8 months leading up to April. Thankfully I have over come that with slight hiccups now and then. My point is that the balance of a healthy diet and exercise is really good for mind body and soul – mind and soul should never be ignored as it is connected to the physical and when one is out of sync nothing can run smoothly. 

In this fast paced world fuelled by the internet, social media and the never ending pressures of society we must take time to look after our whole selves . 

So now I feel calm and at peace it is a good time for me to get back to a balanced lifestyle and just be over all a happier person. 

I will take time to document my journey with the good and the bad, hopefully I can motivate people to make the changes they want in their lives. Positive vibrations to all X 


Ocho Rios, Jamaica 2017 

Currently listening to the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill -/ favourite song To Zion ft Carlos Santana